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Leaving the Weenie Adult Amateur Behind

Leaving the Weenie Adult Amateur Behind

Kristen, author of If The Saddle Fits, recently wrote a viral blog post about Body Shaming in the Show Ring. Since then, she’s posted a few follow-up thoughts that have really resonated with me, including ideas about changing the conversation. Lauren of She Moved to Texas has also discussed the topic, so while I hate to steal anyone’s thunder, I find this discussion a necessary one. First, let’s get the truth out in the open: I am my own worst critic.

heading into the ring - my clique

I promise you, there’s nothing you can say to me that I haven’t already said to myself. Your disappoint in me won’t be worst than ย my disappoint in myself. I find it easy to point out flaws in my body type, personality and riding abilities. In the last few months, I’ve made a conscious effort to seek out the positive. You may have noticed in some of my recent blog posts that while I’m telling you exactly what’s going and how I’m feeling (some of which is pretty negative right now), I work hard to end the post on a good note. I’m not just doing that on my blog either — I’m doing that in my life, with every ride andย every day.

Zoom zoom on Moiya

But it’s time to go beyond that… because I’m beginning to suspect that my attitude is holding me back. I was riding with my BFF Nichole the other day, and we were talking about the issues Miles and I are having in the canter. This is what she told me: “Tracy, he doesn’t believe you. He has to believe that when you add spur you mean it and that there is a shitstorm of more spur waiting for him if he doesn’t do what you ask. But Tracy, you have to believe that too and I don’t know that you do. Do you think that is all the leg you have to give?” I didn’t know what say. Did I believe I could be stronger?

horse show Miles 2015

For a long time, I’ve called myself a “weenie adult amateur” on this blog. It’s a nickname I use with a smile and laugh, but it’s true. I’m not a particularly gutsy rider; I get nervous easily. But now I wonder if I believe that more than ever — more like “this weenie adult amateur may never canter another fence” instead of “this weenie adult amateur will never attempt advanced level Eventing.” And it’s simply not true. I’m not a weenie. Yeah, some things might make me nervous that other riders don’t think twice about… but that’s life. I’m not afraid of clowns and some people are. I’m not afraid of blood and it makes other people pass out. Six one way, half-dozen another.

Leaving the Weenie Adult Amateur Behind

So I’m leaving the weenie adult amateur behind. I’m changing my conversation and holding myself up, instead of bringing myself down. Because after all, I can do anything I put my mind to — I’ve never been afraid of a little hard work.


Fly On Over is an equestrian lifestyle blog devoted to connecting horse lovers around the world. By providing equestrians with practical tips and tricks related to horse ownership, discussing training techniques for horse and rider, as well as covering industry news.

22 thoughts on “Leaving the Weenie Adult Amateur Behind

  1. Love it! I think sometimes adult amateurs get pegged as weenies, simply because they’re adults who aren’t professionals or adults who aren’t doing Advanced level eventing or Grand Prix dressage or whatever, and eventually they start to believe it! Good for you for making an effort to see the positive and not be a weenie.

  2. yessssss i love it!! attitude is sooo important and i love the idea of ‘changing the conversation.’ also kudos to your bff for asking ‘do you think that is all the leg you have to give?’ – that’s probably something we should all ask ourselves (or some variation thereof) on a regular basis or whenever things get really tough

  3. YES!!!!!!!!! This is the best post EVER!!!!! I LOVE THIS ATTITUDE!!!!!! You CAN be the rider you want to be and you are NOT ‘just’ a weenie adult amateur. There is a badass rider in you just waiting to be believed in!!!!! GET IT, GIRL!

  4. Way to go! I love your new attitude! I’m also my own worst critic. I’m a very competitive person, and I’m a perfectionist–I’m very hard on myself when I make mistakes. I can’t wait to see how your new attitude pays off.

  5. No one tells us when we fall in love with horses and beginning riding that it is going to be 80% mental game. The thing that takes our power away though is the same thing that can give it to us — ourselves. I almost stopped riding because I thought fear was winning. I decided at one point I either had to quit riding or take control. I still have many moments of self doubt, but I know I am improving! You can do this! Your passion in life is worth the work! ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Been there, done that. For a long time. The tiniest of bobbles from my mount would have me freezing up and thinking about doing an emergency dismount. And then I got Sydney, and I learned that if I didn’t put my big girl panties on, she would put them on and be the boss. Boss Sydney is not fun. At all. So, I dug really deep, and all of a sudden everything is falling into place like how I dreamed it would. I still probably won’t ever really do eventing like I use to imagine myself, but I am sure having a lot more fun now.

  7. For me, competition has alway been a balance of mental and physical. I’m always a bundle of nerves and often blame my lack of confidence for not pushing as hard sometimes. Good for you for calling yourself out and stepping up!

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