Today, my old red man would have been 22. It’s hard to think about all of the things he never got to do or experience — like the fact that he never got to visit my current boarding barn or meet my current trainer. My BFF never got to ride him and my DH never got to take him on a trail ride. Even though Visa was semi-retired, I still had plans, hopes and dreams for us. But none of that ever became reality. Instead, I have a new red horse who’s filling those impossibly large steel shoes.
So I allow myself some sad moments to lament over all of the things that could have been, but then I move on. I try to remember all the he taught me and how if it weren’t for him, I’d never have Miles. And as the years pass, I realize that the hole in my heart is getting smaller. I don’t miss him quite as often and the pain isn’t quite as unbearable as it used to be. So while Miles will never be my first horse and he’ll never replace what I had with Visa, he is helping me move on. And at the end of the day, I know that’s what Visa would want. He’d tell me, with a nudge of his head and a glaring look in his eye, that he didn’t train me and teach me for all those years just so that I could throw it all away.
Saddle up and get back on kid, because the journey isn’t over.